i was walking far from home, where the names were not burned along the wall....

so, like i alluded to in my last post... my duties at the centre have taken a bit of a detour from what i had originally planned on when i came to malawi. i've found myself in a bit of a reluctant leadership role, as the person originally intended to run the centre for this time has ended up flying back to UK due to a family emergency. so here i am, doing what i can to keep this joint running, and trying not to screw anything up too badly, haha. it's been a bit stressful at times, to be sure... the centre is having one of their children adopted by an american dude who is now at the centre and getting ready to take the child... which has found me on the phone and driving to meet with social welfare and child protective services to make sure things are taken care of appropriately, as well as putting into practice not being so cynical as i work alongside this dude during an international adoption case that i'm basically against the premise of. 

as my good friend sean carter would say : 'fresh outta the frying pan and into the fire'. it's an experience that i have no doubt i won't forget, and i have actually had quite a bit of fun working with some of the malawian staff here as well. it's been a bit of a crash-course, and they've been really patient while the mzungu city-slicker has tried to wrap his head around business in rural africa. it's been a pretty steep learning curve, haha.

however, it's a bit crazy for me to think that my time here is actually winding down.. i looked at my calendar today and i land in toronto in 2 weeks. it's really hard for me to believe that i've been here for almost 3 months already. it seems in some ways that my arrival at the centre was ages ago, but in others.. it seems like it was just yesterday.

when i first arrived at the centre, i really wanted to get a good feel for what my surroundings were, and a better understanding of the culture; so i decided to join with one of the orphanage’s childcare workers and do walks with him and his team of 16 of the younger boys in the centre [aged 6-12]. we'd often do short walks… just to the surrounding villages to watch a local football match or play football ourselves, but sometimes we have done good 3 or 4 hour expeditions in which i have been able to get a really good feel for some of the area, as well as develop some gnarly blisters and procure a few devastating sunburns. my favourite walks have been to the hills [pictured above], and the flood waters [below].

the more i have explored, the more i have seen the footprint of the outside cultures on this place. there are the obvious signs of foreign aid that is pumped into this place like the maize warehouse about 10 minutes from the centre that was built with the help of the japanese government; that now sits unused as the construction of the railroad leading to it stops not 5 metres after the warehouse....

now, some of this is mis-management of foreign aid funds, and poor leadership on the late president's part. but the fact of the matter is... this country specifically, is actually running off foreign aid now. if there was to be no foreign aid or ngo's, the country would fall on it's face. so now we are at a stage where we have made this country dependant on our help, but are now wondering what good our help is doing.

there is also the not so obvious issues of outside influence; a big one that i have seen is the outrageous amount of second hand clothing that is shipped overseas to third world countries [malawi is no exception]. there is nothing stranger than seeing kids here running around in 'calgary walk for a cure' t-shirts, and this little picture is proof that even though i'm in africa and most of the people in bangula can't even wrap their heads around the concept of skating, life found a way to remind me of the game 7 loss we suffered in round 1...

but on a serious note... while it is great that our "well-off" countries are sending the clothing that they aren't going to use anymore to a place where it will go to use... it also has effects that are rarely thought of. the influx of used clothing into malawi [and i assume most other african nations] coupled with the import of dirt-cheap new clothing from china have essentially destroyed the local textile industry. nobody can really make a living making clothes here, so this seemingly good deed has not only destroyed opportunity for jobs, but has now set back the development of a local textile industry and quite likely made this country dependant on the import of used goods. 

for me, all this does is bring into focus that while a huge step is even seeing beyond ourselves and seeing the needs in the world and wanting to help... that unfortunately, our help does more harm than good a lot of the times. it's hard to accept this truth, but sometimes we need to realise that some of the worst things done through human history have been done with the best intentions... so the fact of the matter is that even though we are wanting to help, the true impact of our help is actually causing long-term damage.

so, i think the question we need to ask ourselves every time we want to dip our fingers into another culture is : what is the long-term impact of these actions? and in that, what does responsible involvement really look like? and the only way we can really answer that question is with an understanding of the culture and a heart that is willing to admit that maybe the best help is to walk away entirely. there are such clear examples of the negative impact "helping" can have everywhere i look (short-term mission trips, church building/partnering, the african children's choir, orphanages, school building, etc...) and while all these things look like great ideas to us, the fact of the matter is... that it takes years of cultural understanding to be able to actually operate in a culture in a way that is not actually screwing things up more than when we started.

so, with all that in perspective; i’m really just praying that my time here has been the least damaging as possible. and beyond that, it has really made me re-think a lot of what i had previously come to conclusions on, and has definitely gave me a new lens to see third world involvement through.