i'm a hustler baby, i sell water to a well....

hey y'all,

guess i am overdue for an update. so, since i last wrote i flew into toronto and met up with jolene. we travelled from toronto to kitchener where we have been staying at an older couple named dwyer and sheila who are friends of jolene's and have been lucky to be able to use it as a bit of a home base.

after a few days of soaking up each other's awesomeness and trying to unpack as many stories and pictures as possible, we started to prepare for our bike journey to the niagara region. and shortly after taking in a few comforts from home, we embarked on our journey.

 we biked from kitchener to guelph to meet with a rad couple named pam and colleen who are friends of jolene's and camped in their backyard for two nights. we spent the days checking out an street art festival, going to the farmer's market, and hanging out with pam and colleen's 4 month old and 3 year old girls.   

on the third morning we got back on the o'le iron horses and biked to burlington and stayed at a really terrible and overpriced rv-park. the next day we rolled down the escarpment and hit lake ontario and biked along the shoreline for the entire day... after our "great" experience in the rv-park, we decided to take our chances and set up tent on the side of the road that night somewhere near port-dalhousie. we found a little patch of tall grass near a train-line and called it a night. it was a pretty good experience overall, minus the passing trains that were more of a full-body experience when the passed, haha.

the next day we continued biking along the shoreline and then cut down to a little campground about 15km south of niagara-on-the-lake town, and stayed at that campground for the next 4 nights as we did day-trips around the area.

we spent one day biking around to a couple vineyards and doing some tastings and tours. we got a really rad tour and the jackson-trigg's winery, which was really informative and made me realize i know nothing about wine. it also may be the first time i found a wine that i actually really, really liked.


we spent another day biking around the old-town of niagara-on-the-lake. it's basically a bunch of outrageously large and expensive lake-side victorian style homes with a main street that was pretty much the same as the main drag of banff. it was really touristy and kind of weird.

it was at this time that the culture shock really set in. coming from a place where people live on a dollar a day and being one of the only white people for miles around; to being in a place where there is nothing but old, rich, white people walking around and going to vineyards and buying up all the ice wine and maple products the tourist stores could offer.... it was a pretty big swing. the cultural spectrum was about as diverse as a blank piece of paper.

but, we did get to check out a bunch of historical sites relating to the war of 1812. it was pretty cool, especially since it's the 200th anniversary of peace in that region, so they had some pretty cool stuff going on.... it was also really interesting just to read about the war and the stuff that went on. turns out i really knew nothing about canada's history, heh.

and then on our last day in the area, we headed down to niagara falls.

if i could describe this portion of our journey... i would use the word 'surreal'.

on top of the fact that the falls themselves were one of the most breathtaking things i've ever seen... it was also just a total sensory overload.

we decided to embrace the touristy side and do the maid of the mist, which was the best idea we made all day. i thought i knew what we were getting into becuase all i could think about was jim carrey in that blue poncho during 'bruce almighty', but it was way crazier than i could have imagined. 

'maid of the mist' is a bit of false advertisement.... more fitting would be : 'how about you pay 20 dollars to drive this little boat so close to the waterfall that you are literally being pelted in the face with buckets of water to the point where you can't actually even open your eyes without feeling like your eyeballs are sandblasted'. that said, it was actually so much fun, and i'm so glad that we did it. but it did feel like i put on a poncho in order to step into a shower.

after that we decided to check out clifton hill... which leads us to the worst decision we made all day. i am still reeling from this part of the trip, haha. it was an absolute debauchery having this gaudy, tacky street so close to such a marvel of nature. it was like walking out of a place of serenity into the stampede midway. it was awful.... plus, who decided that when people go to see a waterfall, they probably want to follow it up with a trip through a wax-museum and a 4D movie?

anyways... enough ranting. we finished our day by hiking down to the whirlpool, which is a few km's north of the falls and had a picnic and just chilled by the river before watching the sunset go down with a bottle of wine. it was a great end to our time in niagara. 

the next morning we woke up and biked back to kitchener in a physically gruelling 2-day stretch, and then crashed back in kitchener.

so that's that.... 

now we are just chilling in kitchener and spending our time getting ready to head into toronto and check out a few concerts and take in a jay's game. after that, we'll be preparing for our delegation in kenora.

sorry this is so to the point, but i'm finding myself not wanting to spend much time on the computer with so much to take in and so much going on (plus, having such a good-looking date all the time). but, hopefully it gives a good overview of our last few weeks.

peace.

halfway home....

as i am typing this, i am about 40 hours away from hopping on a plane to head back to canada for the next leg of the journey.... it's a bit surreal to be honest.

this time in malawi has undoubtedly been some of the most intense months of inner-reflection that i have ever had. on top of that, the amount of cross-cultural experience i've gotten through this has been really intense and caused for a lot of reflection as well. i sat down to write this post and try and give a good overall recap of my time here and what i've learned... but looking back on these 3 months, i've realized that i'm leaving feeling like i know less than when i started... and definitely that i have more questions than answers. however, i feel somewhat at peace about it, and i have a lot to unpack and try and make sense of during me and jolene's time bicycling around southern ontario for the coming month and a half. so basically what i'm saying is don't look for any gems of insight or in this post, because i don't got 'em... but i'm looking forward to the months and probably years of processing this time and can't wait to sit down with you all and have face to face chats over a drink and discuss my experiences and to hear what i've missed back home.

while i don't have a tonne of insight as to a recap of my experience here, i can definitely put more words to some cool things that have happened during my time here...

one of the biggest changes during my 3 months has been the emergence of a previously un-touched garden at one of the off-sight properties. when i first showed up, brad (the previous short-time director) had just started to begin the process of getting the garden going. at that point, the soil hadn't been touched, and the spot where the garden had once been was small, run down, and needed a lot of work to even get started. during my 3 months here, i have been lucky enough to see (and definitely can't take much credit for) the garden not only flourish and actually start producing vegetables, but expand beyond the size of the original garden and see chinese cabbage, rape, mustard, tomatoes and onions now growing. we are also now also tasting the fruits of the labor, as some of our meals are now being supplied by the garden...with many more to come.

we've also planted a bunch of fruit trees on the property... we've planted over 50 trees with a mix of papaya, mango [pictured above], banana and guava. unfortunately, the cold season has not been too cold, and we've been stuck in a two week hot spell that has wreaked havoc on the garden and the orchard, so we've lost quite a few trees and plants, but we're hoping that it won't be a big issue and have re-planted trees and vegetables in their place now.

to accommodate the expansion of the garden, the old fence was knocked out and a new fence was built to surround the entirety of the garden and orchard, so that the neighbors cattle and goats can't come help themselves. like i said, i can't claim much in regards to the success of the garden project... but i definitely put in some long, hot, and sweaty days at the garden during the start of the project... and found it to be a good stress reliever during my month in the director role to walk over to the garden and spend a few hours watering the vegetables and trees.. so i spent a couple hours almost every day with the o'le watering can. if you compare the state of the garden [pictured below] to the state of where it was even a month or so ago when i posted about the start of the germination and planting... it's definitely something that i am pretty stoked to have even played a small part in.



also during this time of trying to think about what to write... i've realized that during all the words that i've written in the last 3 months, i've basically written nothing about the kids... which is a bit ironic seeing as i am at an orphanage of about 120 kids, haha. it's definitely been fun to be in a place packed full of so many children and youth... and even on days that i was pretty home-sick or frustrated with the things that i was working through or processing, it was pretty tough to stay pessimistic when you can't walk for more than a few feet without having a child run up to you ready to do a puzzle, play, read, or dance.

i was also fortunate enough to be able to spend the time that i did with the teachers and kids doing the PE program. and even though the amount of time that i got to invest in PE (and into hanging with the kids in general) dwindled pretty considerably after my role shifted... some of my best memories are playing bucket-ball and running the world's most ghetto slip'n'slide with the kids. in fact, the majority of my favorite memories now that i think about it have been with the kids...

overall, i think i'm going to mourn the loss of the pace of life at the centre and in malawi in general. i am not looking forward to heading back to the business of life in canada... and when i think back to how outrageously busy my life was during my time back at the inn, i can barely believe i survived, haha. honestly, not having a phone that was attached to my hip at every single second, and not constantly being on the internet has been really freeing.

thinking about stepping foot back on canadian soil definitely has me caught up in pretty mixed emotions... it's strange because i'm not going straight home... and have two totally different sections of travel still ahead of me : bicycling and camping around southern ontario for a month and a bit, and then the CPT aboriginal delegation near kenora.... it's crazy to think that i'm still 2 months away from being in calgary.

however, going back to canada in general has me pretty apprehensive. don't get me wrong, there are things i'm excited about when i think of leaving malawi, and number one on that list is seeing jolene... and that should not be understated. 3 months apart is way too long, and i'm counting down the hours until we meet in the airport. however, i'm expecting the transition back into the developed world to be a pretty tough one. one of the greatest things about this time has been the almost complete detachment from the consumer culture, that and the fact that i haven't had to hear one bit of information about which celebrity is dating who or what happened in whatever tv show people think is cool right now, or fashion or admittedly even the lessened amount of hockey news... i also really tried to stay off facebook during my time in malawi because it's really hard to try and think about giving a shit (or try not to be angry when thining about) about what sunglasses or snowboard or car that someone bought or where they went to lunch or what new haircut or color they got when you are in a culture that over half of the population live off of a dollar a day. it really puts it in perspective what matters when you can isolate yourself from it all for a while. however, i can't avoid all these things once i get back to canada... and undoubtedly, i will buy into it in some regards as well. but even thinking about my personal lifestyle and what that will look like when i return to calgary has me pretty turned around. so, all that said... uneasiness and apprehension are my personal buzz words for my return. 

on a lighter note... i'm writing this from lilongwe, which is the capital city of malawi. it's actually a kind of fun time to be in the capital city, as people are gearing up for independence day which is tomorrow, july 6th (the same day i fly out). apparently the celebration has been cut down a bit from previous years due to available funds, but i've heard that it's still gonna be a big party.... the centre is also doing a bit of a celebration, and  i'm a bit sad i couldn't be around to see it... however, there's a taste of the poetic in the fact that i am leaving the country on the day that malawians celebrate their freedom from the white colonial rule, heh....

on that note... i end this. the next time i write will be after consuming a long awaited veggie-dog, an ice-cream sandwich, some hasbrowns and an ice cold beer (please let the seeming contradiction of that last statement compared to the rest of my writing slide...)


peace.

i was walking far from home, where the names were not burned along the wall....

so, like i alluded to in my last post... my duties at the centre have taken a bit of a detour from what i had originally planned on when i came to malawi. i've found myself in a bit of a reluctant leadership role, as the person originally intended to run the centre for this time has ended up flying back to UK due to a family emergency. so here i am, doing what i can to keep this joint running, and trying not to screw anything up too badly, haha. it's been a bit stressful at times, to be sure... the centre is having one of their children adopted by an american dude who is now at the centre and getting ready to take the child... which has found me on the phone and driving to meet with social welfare and child protective services to make sure things are taken care of appropriately, as well as putting into practice not being so cynical as i work alongside this dude during an international adoption case that i'm basically against the premise of. 

as my good friend sean carter would say : 'fresh outta the frying pan and into the fire'. it's an experience that i have no doubt i won't forget, and i have actually had quite a bit of fun working with some of the malawian staff here as well. it's been a bit of a crash-course, and they've been really patient while the mzungu city-slicker has tried to wrap his head around business in rural africa. it's been a pretty steep learning curve, haha.

however, it's a bit crazy for me to think that my time here is actually winding down.. i looked at my calendar today and i land in toronto in 2 weeks. it's really hard for me to believe that i've been here for almost 3 months already. it seems in some ways that my arrival at the centre was ages ago, but in others.. it seems like it was just yesterday.

when i first arrived at the centre, i really wanted to get a good feel for what my surroundings were, and a better understanding of the culture; so i decided to join with one of the orphanage’s childcare workers and do walks with him and his team of 16 of the younger boys in the centre [aged 6-12]. we'd often do short walks… just to the surrounding villages to watch a local football match or play football ourselves, but sometimes we have done good 3 or 4 hour expeditions in which i have been able to get a really good feel for some of the area, as well as develop some gnarly blisters and procure a few devastating sunburns. my favourite walks have been to the hills [pictured above], and the flood waters [below].

the more i have explored, the more i have seen the footprint of the outside cultures on this place. there are the obvious signs of foreign aid that is pumped into this place like the maize warehouse about 10 minutes from the centre that was built with the help of the japanese government; that now sits unused as the construction of the railroad leading to it stops not 5 metres after the warehouse....

now, some of this is mis-management of foreign aid funds, and poor leadership on the late president's part. but the fact of the matter is... this country specifically, is actually running off foreign aid now. if there was to be no foreign aid or ngo's, the country would fall on it's face. so now we are at a stage where we have made this country dependant on our help, but are now wondering what good our help is doing.

there is also the not so obvious issues of outside influence; a big one that i have seen is the outrageous amount of second hand clothing that is shipped overseas to third world countries [malawi is no exception]. there is nothing stranger than seeing kids here running around in 'calgary walk for a cure' t-shirts, and this little picture is proof that even though i'm in africa and most of the people in bangula can't even wrap their heads around the concept of skating, life found a way to remind me of the game 7 loss we suffered in round 1...

but on a serious note... while it is great that our "well-off" countries are sending the clothing that they aren't going to use anymore to a place where it will go to use... it also has effects that are rarely thought of. the influx of used clothing into malawi [and i assume most other african nations] coupled with the import of dirt-cheap new clothing from china have essentially destroyed the local textile industry. nobody can really make a living making clothes here, so this seemingly good deed has not only destroyed opportunity for jobs, but has now set back the development of a local textile industry and quite likely made this country dependant on the import of used goods. 

for me, all this does is bring into focus that while a huge step is even seeing beyond ourselves and seeing the needs in the world and wanting to help... that unfortunately, our help does more harm than good a lot of the times. it's hard to accept this truth, but sometimes we need to realise that some of the worst things done through human history have been done with the best intentions... so the fact of the matter is that even though we are wanting to help, the true impact of our help is actually causing long-term damage.

so, i think the question we need to ask ourselves every time we want to dip our fingers into another culture is : what is the long-term impact of these actions? and in that, what does responsible involvement really look like? and the only way we can really answer that question is with an understanding of the culture and a heart that is willing to admit that maybe the best help is to walk away entirely. there are such clear examples of the negative impact "helping" can have everywhere i look (short-term mission trips, church building/partnering, the african children's choir, orphanages, school building, etc...) and while all these things look like great ideas to us, the fact of the matter is... that it takes years of cultural understanding to be able to actually operate in a culture in a way that is not actually screwing things up more than when we started.

so, with all that in perspective; i’m really just praying that my time here has been the least damaging as possible. and beyond that, it has really made me re-think a lot of what i had previously come to conclusions on, and has definitely gave me a new lens to see third world involvement through.

and the times, they are a changin'....

so, since my last entry was a bit of a snapshot into the ugly place that is my thought process... i guess i should give a a bit of perspective on what's going on in malawi right now... as it has been quite a journey in itself to be in a country during a political shift like what has been going on here. i in no way claim to have any expertise in the going ons.. but this is what i have been able to decipher throughout my time here.

as i mentioned in my first post, i found myself walking into the country just days after the death of the president, bingu wu mutharika.

it seems the dude was really good for the country during his first term as president... he overhauled a lot of things and really made steps in the right direction for a country that has a GDP that is in the bottom 10 in the entire world, and a population that has seen malnutrition and hiv/aids rates rise continually over they years. however, after being re-elected... bingu was called into question and negative international press after calling for police to shoot unarmed malawians during a protest, as well as kicking the UK's ambassador to malawi out of the country for alleged comments about how he was running the country. during these incidents, the then vice-president joyce banda spoke out against the president's actions.. and the president subsequently kicked her out of their political party. however, due to the constitution... joyce banda remained as vice president and formed her own opposition party. after all of this, there was plenty of talks that the president was now grooming his son to be the next president.

so, when bingu died... there was a lot of uncertainty as to who would be president and what the future of the country would look like. eventually, it was passed that joyce banda would be africa's second female head of state, and take over the presidential duties until there is the already scheduled election in 2013.

after years under what many perceived as dictator-like rule with worsening conditions for people... the expectations on banda were probably unfair and bigger than any one person could deliver on... but it it seemed as though immediately the changes started to come... instantly banda went through the cabinet and dismissed member after member who had allegations of corruption. and within weeks, there were neighboring countries who lent or gave large amounts of fuel to combat the intense fuel shortages. however, now some time since the donations... the fuel is now becoming scarce, and there is often fuel queue's at stations that are 20 or more vehicles long that hold up traffic, and often once getting to the front of the line you find out that it is all gone. 

another change has been the change of the national flag. a few years back, the former president changed the flag from the flag it waved after independence (a flag with a half-sun, signifying that the sun was rising on malawi, and that there was good to come) to a new flag with a full sun... bingu stating that the independence flag was no longer relevant and that the sun had now risen entirely on malawi. these were not the sentiments shared by the population, and many people opposed the change. and within less than 2 months of his death, joyce banda has changed the flag back to the independence flag.

joyce banda is also a big human rights advocate, and there have also been plenty of talks about not only changing the laws that currently make homosexuality illegal, but also of holding a referendum in regards to legalizing gay marriage.

however... hands down the largest change to hit this country has been joyce banda's decision to reverse the former president's mandate to keep the national currency set at a specific rate (150 kwacha per dollar) and unlock the kwacha and put it onto the market to fluctuate according the world bank and IMF's standards. due to the combined fact that the kwacha's value had been unchanged for so long and malawi's GDP and standard of living had been decreasing for some time; the currency took an immediate and intense devaluation. it moved from 150mk per dollar to 260mk per dollar. not a small shift.

the devaluation of the kwacha has hands down had the biggest effect on this country... fuel prices are now at 500 kwacha (approx. 2 canadian dollars) per litre... which would be cause for outrage in canada, not to mention that well over half of malawi's population live on less than it costs for a litre of fuel. the devaluation's effect on fuel costs then effects transport, which means that prices for everything have been growing incrementally... all of this while wages have not increased, leaving a population that was for the most part already working to survive; now scrambling to meet their basic needs. it has also seen crime rates increase significantly. some of this increase can probably be attributed to the new president deciding to not keep up the 'shoot to kill' law that the former president had put in place for his police, but a lot of it has simply had to do with the growing divide between the rich and the poor, and the extreme effects that the devaluation has had on the everyday citizen of malawi.

due to the amount and the scale of the changes that have happened over the short time since joyce banda has taken over as president... it has brought malawi back into the good books of the international community and has seen already the IMF and the UK pledge a huge amount of money to help stabilize the country during the tough times ahead. the return of donor dollars will also hopefully put an end to to the country's intense shortage of foreign currency, which makes it really hard on business' who are trying to import or export or do any sorts of dealings outside of malawi. the lack of foreign currency empowered a large black market for currency which found the rates being almost double that of what the fixed rate was... which admittedly was a temptation to large for me to resist when changing my personal money, haha. but, hopefully with an increase in foreign dollars coming into the country... the black market will diminish and the banks will again be competitive.

all in all, i couldn't have asked for a more interesting few months to spend in a country. on top of the experiences of spending a larger chunk of time in a foreign culture and working within that culture, the addition of the political change and development that has happened has only added another dimension to my experience. it has definitely made me think a lot more about the development portion of involvement in africa, and made me really interested in what kind of press these types of things get in north american press... it's a bit hard to imagine it has gotten much due to the 'more exciting' things going on in somalia, mali, and sudan. also, it feels weird being here and wondering what is happening back home. with the amount to keep up on here, i have had zero time to give to updating myself on the going on's in canada... i have heard nothing beyond who won the provincial election in alberta (and that was tough news to get as it was) and that the kings are poised to take the cup... and i definitely have had a hard time with the lack of communication from friends and family. some of this is definitely self-imposed and unavoidable.. but it's been a lot more difficult than i expected not being in the loop and hearing from people.

on the update side of things... i have had my time here at the centre take a bit of a turn from what i had planned. due to some unforeseen circumstances, i have been left in a leadership role here... and have found myself overseeing the operations of the centre for the last 3 weeks of my stay in malawi. definitely wasn't expecting that to be the case, but i'm rolling with the punches and definitely learning a lot. as if i didn't have enough questions surrounding responsible involvement in a third world country.... now i get to live them out as i am day to day meeting with the malawian staff and trying to figure out how to keep this joint afloat until the directors get back.

so that's where things are at for me right now... definitely miss everyone back at home and am excited to get the updates and breakdowns when i return.

peace and love.

i realised my movie sucked, and i was the only one who could edit it....

sorry for the time between posts! i have to admit... i've found myself really finding it tough to make the time to update this thing. but, lots has happened since i last wrote.. so there may be a fury of these if i can keep up on it.  i also just want to say thank you for everyone who reads this thing, because i have to admit that i just simply am unable to keep up to date with other people's blogs. it doesn't matter how important or special you are to me, i am just a total write-off when it comes to keeping up on these things, so for those that actually read this...  it really means a lot to me that you haven't written me off due to this and keep reading. so thank you.

in the time since i last wrote, i was able to take a trip to lake malawi. 

it wasn't the same type of adventure as my expedition on mount mulanje... but it was definitely a great trip. i went to a part of the lake that is a bit remote, and had the most relaxing time. to get there i hitch-hiked and took a mini-bus to a town called monkey bay.. after arriving there, i had to round up a 'motola' (motorbike) ride down a 25km stretch of dirt road to a place called cape maclear, and from there rented a kayak and kayaked for an hour to the island that i spent my time at. 

it was a really fun combination of travel, but the motola ride was hands down one of the scariest things i've been apart of. the dude who drove didn't speak a word of english, drove unfathomably fast and recklessly for a dirt road that looked like land mines had gone off along it, and i had nothing but shorts and t-shirt on and a helmet that was provided that was a construction helmet with a rubber strap to hold it onto your head, haha. it was quite the experience.. but i survived. 

once arriving at the island, i found out that i was the only person who was staying there... and took advantage of that fact by doing a whole lot of nothing... i explored the island, swam a couple times a day, read a few books, went for kayak trips around the island, journaled a lot, and just in general relaxed and took in the fact that i had an island to myself. the picture below is a pretty good representation of what my days were like... [huge thanks to my mom for lending me the e-reader for this trip... it's been the greatest thing!]

with the amount of time available to read and reflect during this trip, i figured i'd take some time to download a bit of what i've been thinking about. 

i've been doing a bit of reading since i've been here about some african history and current african politics, and i was struck by a quote from the first kenyan president jomo kenyatti... he said "when the missionaries came to africa, they had the bible and we had the land. they said 'let us pray'. we closed our eyes and when we opened them... we had the bible, and they had the land". 

the truth of the matter is that i've found it really hard to be here in malawi, and at the centre in general.... i'm a white dude working in a christian-run orphanage in africa. the amount of pain, suffering and hurt that are associated with that sentence alone is enough to make me want to vomit. 

every day i'm faced with the ill-effects that colonialism and christianity have had on this culture... 

it's my first time really facing some of these questions outside of a history book, and it's been a really tough experience for me, to be honest. the questions for me come because as i am face to face with the destruction that christianity specifically has brought to this place, i am unable to shake the fact that i am moving closer and closer to embracing the man whose teachings have been used to justify some of the most horrific ideas and actions in human history. from the ever-present issues at home in canada with the residential school programs to the lasting effects of the missionary movement here in malawi and colonised countries in general; the writing is on the wall when it comes to the history of christianity... and while i'm all for not beating a dead horse and allowing a different future to be painted with the same brush that the past was painted with... it just doesn't seem like we've taken much away from the outrageous amount of opportunities we've had to learn from our mistakes. 

we rape and pillage an earth that we're so concerned with proving that god and not evolution created. we wage war against abortion and the death of the unborn, while we chalk up the death of innocent women, children, and men as collateral damage in wars fought in interest of national security. we take sides in conflicts happening across the world; claiming that one side has the right to kill, oppress and dehumanise the other because they are god's chosen people. so, when i read the teachings of christ and look around; i just can't help but feel pretty unenthusiastic about track record or future of the religion that has come to bear his name.... 

but while i am living amongst this total cluster-cuss, i cannot escape the fact that i am experiencing the truth of what jesus taught. i am really being challenged on my cynicism while i am here, and thank goodness... because if i just sat in the negative, i'd be completely consumed, haha. but i am really using this trip to not just deconstruct the negative things (which i'm really, really good at), and start to look at how can i be apart of the solution. i was really hit in the face with the idea that while my ability to think critically and see the negative is actually a gift, that unless i moved forward after seeing the wrong.. that i would end up an angry, cynical old man with nothing to give to anyone. it's really easy for me to pick out the wrong... to define myself by what i stand against. but what i've really been challenged with on this trip is to become what i am about, not only defining myself by what i'm not about.  

so, as i move from just a negative view point and ask what hope is there in these circumstances that seem absolutely hopeless, i have come face to face with a hope that is beyond my understanding. i am hesitant to put words to it; but in the face of all this destruction and seeming hopelessness... i have found hope that there can be reconciliation, restoration, redemption, justice, and peace... and beyond that, that that hope is rooted in the fact that god is about these things as well. but that in itself is a really tough thing for me, as that has been used to fuel and justify so many horrendous acts through history, as we try and define what that looks like. 

ah, i don't know... i'm really rambling now so i'll end this. and this is by no means the only thing i've been thinking about, but it is definitely a reality that i live in, and i'm sorry that it ended up being a verbal vomitting session. 

top of the world....

so, i have arrived back from the mountain alive, and not alive in the movie sense where all those rugby players ended up eating each other. though, having to pack, carry and ration enough food for 5 days is no easy task.

i figure i packed in about 20kg’s worth of food, shelter and clothing in my backpack; and then had to hike that up an unrelenting incline for 4 hours straight. it was during this time that the thought of ‘what the hell have i gotten myself into?’ plagued my mind constantly… but every time i second guessed whether i had anything left in the tank to push through for that day (not to mention for the following 4 days), we’d turn a corner and be overlooking the most amazing view i’d ever seen.  this borderline self-defeatism and subsequent lifting of spirits continued for the duration of the first day, and after we had gained about 1200m of elevation in 4 hours, we hit a bit of a plateau, and then hiked for another 3 hours of a bit more level ground to the hut that we’d spend the next 2 nights at. because i was drenched in sweat and hot and tired, i didn't really notice during the hike itself.. but we had actually gained so much elevation that at night you could see your breath. it was like being back in canada, haha. unfortunately, i wasn't expecting this little taste of home and it made for some chilly nights with little sleep.

the following morning we had to get up bright and early at 5am to complete our quest to hit the peak. we ditched our packs at the base of where we started our climb and only brought enough food and water to last us for the 6 hour round trip to the summit. for me, this was the most enjoyable part of the entire trip. we scrambled up the mountain for 3 hours straight, needing to use both hands and feet for grip. unfortunately, i lost my grip at one point early in the day and slipped down a few feet and landed on a rock edge with all my weight falling onto my upper shin. it bled and swelled up pretty good, but i was able to push on. by about an hour in, we started climbing into the clouds... which made visibility pretty difficult and once we made it through, it was almost a game of trying to climb and stay ahead of the ever-rising clouds for the rest of the day.

we made it to the peak, which officially is 3002 metres above sea level, in about 4 hours. unfortunately, we lost the race with the clouds, and couldn't see as much as we were hoping at the top. on a clear day, you can see the indian ocean from the summit, which is pretty impressive... as that is past malawi, and to the coast of mozambique. sadly we didn't get that view, but surprisingly it didn't take anything away from the feeling of accomplishment. 

after a short revelling in our accomplishment [it was actually really cold at the top when the wind picked up], we made our descent back to the hut and even though the morning was cloudy, we had a surprisingly clear night and were able to crash under an amazing backdrop of stars that night.

the following two days were spent hiking around the mountain and seeing as much as we could see... it was more pleasure hiking than anything, though on the 4th day i convinced our guide to do another scramble up to a peak that we walked past during our hike. so we ditched our bags and made our way up to a second peak. this one was only 2500 metres above sea level, but it was clear that day, so we got a pretty amazing view in all directions.


we stayed at a total of 3 different huts on the mountain, for 5 days and 4 nights, and did 29 hours of cumulative hiking/climbing in those 5 days. 


we also came across a tree-planting camp during our exploring... as de-forestation of cedar trees on the mountain is a big problem. i talked with one of the planters and they are paid by the month, not the tree... kind of crazy.


so this one goes out to josh and bethany and my other tree-planting friends.... thought about you guys during that day. 

our last day was about 5 hours of sketchy, ankle-breaking switchbacks as we descended and continually crossed over a mountain stream until finally we hit the waterfall pictured to the left.

we spent about an hour hanging out at the waterfall... swimming and cliff jumping [pictured bottom left is me doing a good 30 foot jump]. it was an amazing way to end the trip.

after drying off, we finished our last 45 minutes of hiking out of the mountain. at that point, i had to negotiate a 'dink' which is a ride on the back of some dudes bike.... it was about a 20 minute
trip back to the town that we would transport out of... and i felt really sorry for the dude who had to peddle me and my backpack in the 30+ degree heat.

from there we packed ourselves into a series of mini-busses and made our way back to the centre. during this time, we played the game of 'how many living creatures can you pack into a 15 passenger van?', to which the winning round was 23 adult malawians, 4 school aged children, 3 infants, 4 live chickens and 2 mzungus...

honestly, all things considered... this was the trip of a life time. i mean, this 3 month block of time is something i'll never forget, but this trip up the mountain was more than i ever could have hoped for. it was truly incredible.

so, now i'm back into the everyday routine at the centre and will have way less exciting updates coming your way... haha. actually, i'm really excited to get back into the P.E. program and see what comes of that.

and, i'm heading to lake malawi sometime in the next few weeks, so i'm sure i'll have some things to share from that as well... as i'm hoping to rent a kayak and head to an island for a night, as well as do some scuba diving...

happy late mother's day to my mom, grandma, judy and all the other mothers out there...

peace and love.

this is food for thought, now you do the dishes...

so, a bit of insight as to what i am doing for food here in malawi....

at the centre there is a kitchen and dining room in the main house, which is separate from where the kids and the local staff eat, but i have really tried to limit eating there, and choosing to eat as many meals as possible with the kids and malawian staff. 

i came into this trip with the personal expectation that i would try and offset some of my guilt of being a rich white dude in a third world orphanage by eating entirely with the kids and local staff, and choose not to eat at all with the mzungu contingency of the centre... but that was a more difficult immersion than i was expecting.

let me break it down for you a bit... what they eat here is called nsima. it is a maize flour base, that is prepared two different ways for three different meals. they eat a runnier version of it for breakfast (think refrigerated gravy, haha) with a little bit of sugar (and i mean a little bit), and then for lunch and supper it is about the consistency of play dough. the lunch and supper versions have zero taste, and when i first had it i had a really tough time getting it all down without the o'le gag reflex kicking in as i had flashbacks to kindergarten.

the kitchen is outfitted with two giant iron pots that are heated by fire from below, and to make the nsima they bring the giant pot full of water to a boil and slowly add the maize flour until it gets to the right (i use that term loosely) consistency.

they accompany lunch's nsima with veggies (a stew of chinese cabbage and a little bit of onion and tomato) or beans. and dinner's nsima is accompanied with veggies and a combination of either beans, soy pieces or fish. 

there is little to no seasoning from what i can tell, so it is a very bland meal... i have grown to enjoy the nsima and veggies, but really look forward to when we have beans or soy pieces with the meal. the fish is sun dried and is a bit weird for me still (yes, i am eating it...), and i still kind of pick around it for the pieces of meat while the kids just throw the whole thing down the hatchet... head, bones, tail and all. the kids laugh at me for not eating the fish like they do, but i think they are secretly glad because it means that there are a few fish heads for them to snatch off the mzungu's plate.

i spent my first week at the centre really having a hard time getting into the swing of eating the local food, especially since the food that is being cooked in the main house is so damn tasty, and it's tough to pick dough and unseasoned vegetables over lasagne and french toast and rice and cake.... and it doesn't make it easier when you have to haul yourself out of bed for 6:30am to eat congealed gravy for breakfast. so i started by eating just lunches, and then added breakfast a few days later, and about two weeks after that i ate dinners as well... so, since about the 2nd week my diet has basically consisted of nothing but nsima. it's a bit daunting to think that this will be my diet for basically another 2 full months, but it's even more daunting to think that this is a choice for me, and that this is simply reality for the people in this culture. i'm starting to realize that as much as i want to sympathize with the marginalized and those in poverty, that i simply can't. i have options, and they don't. i am eating this diet for 3 months, and then flying home and have the opportunity to eat whatever the hell i want... i could go on a mcflurry diet when i get back if i really wanted.

through this experience i have truly come to appreciate food as sustenance. in canada i ate at my convenience, never truly felt hunger, and if i was served at a restaurant what i am eating here in africa... i probably woulda sent it back.

it's strange what a change of scenery can do for you. at the centre we eat breakfast at 6:30am, lunch [nsima and veggies pictured on the left] at noon, and dinner [nsima, veggies and fish pictured below] at about 6pm. if you miss those meals, you miss them... theres no fridge to store leftovers, or put some aside. they make one giant pot of each item and they stretch that out to serve whoever is there. in between meal times i am outside in the sun splitting my time between teaching PE, the garden, and playing... so by the time that lunch and supper roll around, i am absolutely starving and ready for the carbohydrate load and inevitable bowel back-up that is coming with it... but honestly, i am so grateful for the food i get when i get it... which is a pretty big contrast from what i was living like in canada, where i would sometimes eat simply because i was bored, or felt a craving for a specific type of food.... now don't get me wrong, i definitely get cravings here; and,  i would do a lot of ugly things in order to get my hands on an ice cream sandwich or a plate of eggs benedict and hashbrowns from diner deluxe or a cold bottle of granville island's maple cream ale.... but here it is simply just reality. about twice a year they butcher a goat and serve it with rice... but besides that, this is their reality every single day, three meals a day.

but i think one of the most meaningful things i will take away from this trip will be that i have really spent some legitimate time hungry (and i'm not talking about stuffing myself full of pizza one minute before and after the world vision 30 hour famine), and had time to reflect on it. i lived in and am returning to a place, and partook in a culture so saturated with options, waste, and overconsumption... that i think i am going to have an even harder time coming home and justifying my overconsumption and wasteful habits.

for a few months there, it seemed like you were constantly barraged by the occupy movement and it's talk about the 1% and the equity distribution issues in our culture. but it's interesting thinking about how the people living in those tents bitching about equity distribution spend on one meal at a restaurant what it would take to feed a centre of 150 children and staff for a meal. it's easy to always find someone above you that has more... but maybe it's time to realize that while 1% has the majority of the wealth, that what we have is so far beyond what the majority of the world can comprehend. upper, middle or lower classes are a bit irrelevant when you are talking about true poverty. and if you think that people around malawi would consider those of us that fall into the 'middle class' category as being unfathomably rich.

so what does this look like for when i get home? i guess that goes for more than just my food consumption, but in general.... how does one take this experience home and not allow the constant influence of western culture slowly and surely overpower the questions i have wrestled with for the 3 months of this trip? because it's near impossible to live in a way in canada in the way that i live here. so i don't know what that looks like, but i'm kind of excited to figure it out.

as for other news... i'm heading out in two days to mount mulanje, which is the second tallest mountain in africa outside kilimanjaro. i'm gonna be spending 5 days on the mountain up to the peak. i'm a bit overwhelmed at the idea of it all, to be honest. simply the spiders and snakes are enough to do me in, but i'm also really excited. it's going to be an odyssey, i imagine. definitely something to remember.  if i don't end up as tarantula food or like the skeletons in indiana jones in the snake pits, i'll make sure i put up pictures when i get back.

peace.