do you think about me now and then?

brad and i had to head into nsanje this past week, as we had to renew the visitors visas for some of the group staying at the centre…. while there brad took me down to the now defunct port of malawi… through a large foreign aid project from multiple countries, they had set up a port along the shire river that led into mozambique, and would have been able to really improve the import/export of the country, which would have been a big help, as malawi is working at a GDP of about 4 billion US…. making it one of the poorest countries in the world. however at the unveiling of the port to all the dignitaries and ambassadors, the past president dropped the ball completely on the tariffs and trade negotiations with mozambique, and the first ship was held up in mozambique and never even arrived… leaving the dignitaries, ambassadors and the president all standing on the dock wondering what was going on.

due to this, the aid was pulled by the supporting   countries and the infrastructure that was being improved as part of the project was halted…. so there is a brand new road that leads away from the port, but ends abruptly 45 minutes away and turns into a beat up dirt road that is barely driveable. so we hung out at the port, which is now basically deserted… and we watched the local fishers in their hollowed out log boats where there should be decent sized tankers bringing in shipments of goods. after that we grabbed lunch in the town and headed home, but not before being slowed down by a heard of cattle making their way down the newly paved stretch of highway.

we have had a bit of a hold-up on the garden situation, as the centre’s trolley broke down… which was used to transport the grass for covering the garden beds. the positive side of that was that we got to head into the village and pick up the grass with the truck, which ended with the truck being mobbed by the village children excited at the sight of three mzungu’s and a truck, which are far from common fair in the more remote areas.

the brain trust for the garden is also in the middle of the decision making process of whether or not it is the best choice to install a pump and irrigation system due to the expense of it and not being sure of whether or not it will be maintained after we all leave. it's a big investment to put in the whole system with so many legitimate concerns surrounding the effectiveness of the system once everyone leaves.

it's like what i was talking about before i left... whether we should be applying our first world solutions for their third world problems. it seems like a no-brainer to put in a system that would exponentially increase their crop production, but if they are not invested in it... if they don't see this as the solution as well... are we not just throwing money down the toilet? 

life is just so different here... it's hard to apply your logic in a place where it is so drastically different than the place in which you built your framework for your decision making and thought process.

anyways... i am starting to prepare for the PE program that i am going to be teaching in the primary school. it was brought to me because they have no structure for their PE program, and the teachers just basically play football (soccer) with the kids every single day. they have eight grades on site, so it’s a bit of a challenge coming up with games for such a wide variety of ages…. but it takes me back to the harmattan days of working with a tiny budget and little to no resources, haha. it’s been a serious learning curve here, though… as i am teaching games to children who don't really understand the language i’m teaching the games in at a conversational level.... so, i’ve had to really simplify the games i’m running, and have decided that i will be spending my time here not just running the games, but teaching the teachers how to run the games and building a resource book full of ideas and explanations… that way, when i leave it won’t have to be picked up by somebody new… hopefully the teachers will be equipped to just continue running with the curriculum i have put in place and taught them how to run. we’ll see, though.

i’m really excited to get into the routine of that for the rest of my time here. the kids were on school break when i arrived, so it’s been a bit unstructured for the last week and a half… basically just going for walks with kids and playing football and just hanging out. i'm really hoping the structure of school starting will be good and help take away from the fact that i’m missing home right now. 

it's been really tough to adjust to the idea that i will not be seeing people for the next five months....
a lot changes in five months, and it’s just starting to set in. when i come back; my baby cousin is gonna be walking, some of my friend’s will be graduated from university, i’ll miss birthday parties and family dinners, i’ll miss shows and company launches, i’ll miss camping trips, family reunions, backyard bbq’s, and i’ll be missing the only months of decent weather in calgary….

i think this is crowding my thought process right now because on tuesday i turn 27. i’ve never actually celebrated a birthday somewhere other than home before. pretty incredible if you think about it… for 26 consecutive april 24^th’s, i have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by friends and family for this day. from the outrageous amount of effort that my parents put into my birthday parties growing up [did you ever get a space themed birthday party with an entire solar system’s worth of cakes in the correct scale?] to my more recent birthdays spent with friends with backyard fires and barbeques and shisha and mariokart and 90’s dance hits and probably too much to drink…

now, don’t feel too sorry for me on this day… to celebrate i’m heading out to a wildlife reserve called majete with a few of the people who are staying at the centre. we’ll be spending a night in the reserve and maybe see some of the big game animals in africa. pretty stoked on that.

but, birthday’s naturally make me reminisce.. it’s a marked day in which you are allowed to really sit and take in the last year of your life in it’s entirety and basically get to weigh in on how it went. more years than not since i graduated; this time of reminiscing was usually spent deciding that i probably drank too much but had a lot of great memories, didn’t pour myself as much into the things i wish i did but was still able to stay somewhat close to those things, made some strides towards who i wanted to be but still spent the majority of the year fairly irresponsibly…

but this year is different… as i look back on this year i have to say that it looks a bit different than years passed. this year i donated my car and bought a bike in hopes of limiting my global footprint, i poured myself into a job that i believed in and didn’t quit as soon as it got tough but instead saw it through to a place where i felt okay with leaving, i committed to changing my eating patterns for both my personal health and on a larger global scale, i paid off nearly eight-thousand dollars worth of debt, and i spent the entirety of this year in a committed relationship with a girl that i am outrageously in love with.

now, i don’t say this to brag. at one point this year, a close friend of mine said to me that it was cool to see me taking steps towards the man i wanted to be. which made me think a lot about what it is to be a man, and what it means to really grow up and move into adulthood. and lets be honest, the steps i made this year are not things that are out of the ordinary for me. if you know me well, you know that i very easily jump on board with things that i see hold truth or value or will benefit others.. but the difference between this year and years passed is that this year i saw them through. unlike flames fans (or from what i’m hearing right now, probably canucks fans) i didn’t jump off the bandwagon when things got tough or inconvenient.

a lot changed for me this year... and some of it was tough, but as i look back on this year… i can honestly say that this is a year i am proud of. and i thank each one of you who were a part of the last 365 days. you know who you are, and i am eternally grateful.

love.